So you may have read our article on buying The Ring and know how to make your money’s worth by memorizing all the 4Cs to buying a good diamond. You may have even gone through our articles on The 3 Factors to making a memorable proposal and have planned out the perfect proposal for your girlfriend! We’re excited for you!
1. Asking for her hand in marriage
We know what you are thinking. This sounds extremely old-fashioned and perhaps you would exclaim that marriage is just about the two of you! As you will learn in time to come, or perhaps you may have already learnt, it isn’t. When you marry someone, you are also becoming part of her family and clan, if applicable, while she in turn becomes part of your family. So, no, marriage will not just be about the two of you.
We hope by now you have already met her family and perhaps have had a meal or two together at family occasions. If her family has taken to you, that’s great! If they haven’t, don’t worry about it; they probably need more time to get to know you better.
Most parents love their children very much in spite of human imperfection and in their wisdom know that marriage is a huge step to take. So out of their love, they will need to make sure that you are the right person to marry. Asking for her parents’ permission to marry her is your way of showing respect to her parents who will become your parents by marriage.
This will also tell them that you acknowledge their rightful place as her parents. This is important because it’s an emotional thing for most parents as they watch their precious daughter grow from a tiny infant to a teenager to the adult that she is now, ready to marry you.
Besides asking her parents for her hand in marriage, you will also need to inform your own family that you are planning to ask your girlfriend to marry you. In the same manner that your girlfriend’s parents have loved her from infancy to adulthood, so have your parents.
Traditionally in some Asian cultures where sons are especially valued, this step you are taking is a declaration of your adulthood which can be perceived as the time you break away from your parents. You may have watched enough movies or drama serials to know the potential challenges between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. Sometimes this happens because mothers find it hard to acknowledge that their sons are now adults who are responsible for themselves and their own families.
Again, this happens out of their love for their sons whom they carried for 9 months in their wombs and then continued to nurture them to the adults they are today. Informing your parents of your intention to marry your girlfriend will give them time to mentally and emotionally prepare for you leaving them to set up your own family.
Stay tuned for more tips and advice before saying ‘I Do!’
